Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
