i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize