playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
