You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
