Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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