I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
