gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
