I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She bit a glass in half.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Randomize
