I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
