very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
