I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
