escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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