I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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