dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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