Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
