are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
