dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
