Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
operation harelip BJ is a go
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
