"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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