Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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