I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
