Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
