his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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