why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
