So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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