I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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