I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
