You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
