when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Randomize
