can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
