using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize