Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
birth control should be required to get into college
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
