what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
