You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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