she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
