My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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