I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize