Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
