Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
