I hate all girls vehemently.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
