she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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