Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
