I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
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