I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
