sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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