So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
