making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
