so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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