i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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