He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
