Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
