I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
