U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I am mentally ready for anal.
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