Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
