he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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