What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
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