There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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