Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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