I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
