There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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