I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize