His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
