This girl is more easily done than said...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
