would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
When are your genitals available?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
