"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
