drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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