I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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