O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
