I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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