I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
