Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
